At first, right after she was free of the arrangement, she was jubilant. He’d given her the perfect out. She’d walked in on her one non-negotiable. Just in time.

She was beginning to catch feelings and it was inconvenient. And ain’t nobody had time for that.

She had a full bank account, a new car that he’d surprised her with for her birthday and tons of clothes and shoes that she was going to consign right away. She had neither the desire nor time to haul all of that stuff to the small apartment she’d rented.

She was on her way to being a Boss. No time for sentiment or souvenirs. Of course the car was a different story. You had to have one in LA.

But after all of the activity of the move and she settled down to get back to her work, a deep sadness settled over her.

Her friend Jesse, who she’d worked with before the arrangement and who knew about what happened, had been blowing up her phone ever since they’d been out Saturday night..

“If I had the time to come all the way over here, I wouldn’t have texted you!” Jesse was taking to her closed door.

She unlocked the door and climbed back in bed as he opens the door and came in to her dark world.

“Soooo… you allergic to notifications and sunlight all of a sudden?”

“Is the sun out?”

“Ok. You don’t know what time it is!??!?”

“4 o’clock?”

“It is 10 o’clock.” He stared at her. “In the morning.”

She just nodded and closed her eyes again.

“Cia. How long have you been asleep?”

She opened her eyes again.

“What day is it?”

“Tuesday.”

She held up three fingers.

“Three hours? You were up all night partying or something?”

“No. Three days.”

He sat down on the chair by her bed.

“You’ve been in bed for three days? Since we went out to celebrate on Saturday? I guess you got time to burn. But last week you were talking big game bout what you was fixin to do.”

“I love you Jesse, but leave.”

“No. Fuck that. What is wrong with you?”

“I’ve just wasted two years of my life. For what? What have I done?”

“You made a decision. I told you it was a dumbass move, but you wouldn’t listen. You was grown. I understand being down sometimes, but it’s time to get up. Let’s go.”

She just pulled the covers over her head.

“I got time today.”

He waited for over an hour until she finally sat up in bed.

“WHAT JESSE? We can’t just go out shopping or get a drink and everything gets better. Depression is a real thing.”

“I know that. So I just sent you the number to my therapist and you can call her.”

She reached over on the nightstand and got her phone, which had actually been turned off. She switched it on and stared at the contact. Then she looked up at him again.

“In the meantime, we can work on that business plan we were talking about.”

He got up and went in the other room.

When she finally came out many minutes later, she looked a little better, her hair was tamed a little and she was clean.

“Thanks for taking the time.”

“No problem.  Now, about the studio location…”

So Cia threw herself into work for three more days until she was able to slide into Dr. Baldwin’s schedule.  It was good for her.  Life went on.

As she sat on the therapist’s couch, she contemplated the question she’d been asked.

“That’s a good one.  Well, if I had the time, that means I would be in control of it.  I would turn it back and make a different decision.”

“It sounds like you are centering your life on this one short time period.  How are you living your life if that is the focus?  Would you be fundamentally different if you had that time back? And do you want to be different? Do you want the time back?”

It took months for her to come up with an answer.